Newest pregnancy diagnoses – Gestational Diabetes

The dreaded glucose pregnancy drink; yeah, I had to drink it twice! With my first pregnancy and my current pregnancy. Both times I failed the first test and needed to go back for the 3 hour test.

The drink isn’t great but the worst part was having to have your blood drawn 4 times within 3 hours. I also had blood work just 2 days prior to this testing, so my arms were feeling it by the end of this for sure.

With my first pregnancy, my 3 hour glucose test was a pass! With this pregnancy I failed both glucose tests. Three hours after drinking the glucose drink a normal blood sugar levels should be 140 mg/dL or below and mine never dropped lower than 162 mg/dL.

I now need multiple appointments with the diabetes doctor (on top of my prenatal appointments) until the end of my pregnancy. As of right now I do not need insulin. I need to watch what I eat and check my blood sugar levels after each meal. I need to keep my levels below certain levels but also should not let them drop too low.

The whole process of gestational diabetes is new to me and I’m just taking it day by day. There are risks later on for me to develop diabetes as well as my baby. There are proactive ways to help prevent that but as for now I do not want to stress about future issues that may never occur.

I will keep everyone updated on my gestational diabetes diagnoses as the updates come!




The First Dental Visit For Our One Year Old!

Ellie had her very first dentist appointment! It seemed a little silly since she only has 4 teeth on the top and 2 teeth on the bottom. But it was great to get her used to this oral hygiene thing and I learned a lot myself while being there.

I learned she is late on teeth, meaning they would expect her to have more teeth erupted by now. They are not concerned at all about it but said they would expect her adult teeth to also be late. If not and her adult teeth came early then they would raise some eyebrows.

I also learned she has a chipped front tooth! How she did that I have no idea! I didn’t even know it was chipped until they brought it to my attention and showed me. They said its also not something they are concerned about at this time. I asked if it is hurting her and they said no.

I also learned to brush her teeth its much easier to have her laying across two peoples knees with her head on the lap of the person brushing her teeth. So my husband sits holding Ellie facing him, he lays her back on his knees and rests her head down on my knees. I then can brush her teeth and get a good view of the inside of her mouth as well! All while he can hold her arms so she can’t stop me.

The best part was the end when the dentist gave Ellie a rainbow colored unicorn stuffy. She wouldn’t put it down for days! Slept with it at night and everything. She was so proud of herself and took a lot of pride in the reward she received!




She’s a Sweet ONE!!!

Elliana turned ONE!!

We had an ice cream themed birthday party for Ellie on her first birthday (which just happened to fall on a Saturday).

I bought a 10 X 30 party tent with walls for her birthday. I’m glad I did because we had a passing shower during her party! I figured I’d purchase one for future events we have as well!

Most of the decorations I bought from Etsy! The high chair skirt, banner backdrop, balloons, Happy birthday banner, etc.

We used our wooden cooler for the ice cream cups. We also dug out our tablecloths from our wedding to place on the tables! It worked out perfectly since they were white and blush pink, it kept to our pastel color theme!

I ordered 2 dozen cookies for the party.

Ellie had two cakes for her party! This one was for everyone to eat! Absolutely delicious!

This was the cake for Ellie to eat as well as some of the cupcakes we had ordered. We had a total of 2 dozen cupcakes!

Josh and I had special shirts to wear for the day!

Ellie also had a special outfit! she had 2 matching bows as well but kept taking them off!

I had purchased a bounce house for her rather than renting one. I figured they price was about the same and we can use the bounce house over and over at all events in the future as well! This held up well! Even being pregnant I can get in it with Ellie and bounce around and it will hold me no problem!

We also had a pastel ball pit set up for the kids! We didn’t get pictures of that before the rain started. We moved it under the party tent during the rain shower to prevent the water from collecting at the bottom.

Overall, it was a successful fun birthday party for our first baby! Most everyone said I did too much and went overboard with it. But that’s just me! And is it ever too much when it comes to your baby?

One thing I did buy way too much ice cream! Ellie doesn’t have many kid friends yet and the adults didn’t eat much of the ice cream. My husband says its ok we have left over ice cream because its more for him to eat now.

The absolute best part of her entire birthday weekend was the next morning when she woke up, we brought her downstairs to eat breakfast and she was completely shocked to see the living room was still filled with all her gifts! I honestly believe she thought everyone brought toys over and would take them home with them when they left. She was beyond shocked and excited when she saw they all were still here!




Bath Time Fear at 10 months old – How I Identified and Resolved the Problem

Bath time has yet to be an issue for us. In fact, Ellie loves taking a bath! We had a solid routine where she would take a bath each night. She knew what to expect each night and it worked for us. We don’t necessarily use soap every night, she may not need it or I didn’t want to have to worry about her skin drying out. Bath time has been nothing but fun for her!

And then at 10 months old, out of nowhere, she really hated her baths! I mean like torture! Baths were an absolute struggle every single night! She no longer would sit down in the bath, she would hear the water turn on and instant tears and panic would hit. I had no idea why things all of a sudden changed.

I did some research into it and found that it can be a sensory overload and babies around 1-2 years of age can go through a phase of having a fear of baths. True or not, I don’t know, but it did seem to describe what Ellie was going through!

So how do we fix it?

I found so many ideas of how to change up bath times to help your baby lessen their fear. I tried one simple change and it worked! Literally the first trial bath time worked! We haven’t had an issue since.

What did I do?

One thing I found is that babies can have a sensory overload during bath time. The sound of the water running can be too loud for their ears, the water touching their bodies, the water running down their face, etc.

For Ellie I used to fill the tub and then put her in once i knew the water temp was ok for her. Now I put Ellie in an empty tub and start the water so she can see and feel the water gradually increasing. I can also adjust the water temperature as needed and make gradual changes if needed. She sits in the tub again! She doesn’t cry during the bath anymore!

Such a small change but a huge difference for our baby! It was also a great reminder for me that she is still human and she does have all 5 senses, and those senses may even be even more heightened than an adults as she is using all of them everyday as she learns all about this crazy world.




Covid-19 is a challenging time for all, especially kids. Mother’s and kids do not need the opinions of “Karen’s” when out and about!

I wanted to vent a bit about Covid-19 and kids! Now I know there are a lot of different opinions around the topic of Covid; is it real, is it a scare tactic. That’s not the point of my post, I don’t want to go down that road. However, I do not understand why random people want to bring kids into this topic.

When you see a mother out at a store why would you feel it is necessary to comment on whether or not the child is wearing a mask?! You are not familiar with their situation or reasoning. You are not Covid enforcement! I understand you may have reasons you need someone else to wear a mask to protect you but why can’t you just keep you distance then? Why do you want to bring a child into the situation?!

We were out shopping at a local store for a backpack carrier my husband had been wanting for a while. We had our masks on but Ellie being under 1 did not have a mask. While we were in line to check out the man in front of us kept looking back at us, I wasn’t exactly sure what his infatuation with us was so I just ignored it. Eventually he was next in line and as expected everyone in the line moved forward. Our stroller with our daughter in it was over the sticker on the ground. Rather than the man just taking a step forward (since nobody was in front of him) he felt he needed to look at me and say

“Whoah! you are way past your mark!”

My husband and I both shocked by this mans rudeness neither of us said anything right off. So the man felt the need to continue and say

“We don’t need kids getting sick! Use your head!”

That’s when I knew he was more annoyed Ellie did not have a mask on and that’s why he kept giving us looks in the line. My husband had some words with this man and we found out he was from out of state, he was purchasing 2 shirts (which he definitely could have ordered online and had sent directly to his door since he is so scared).

I’ve heard other stories from other peoples experiences as well of people getting into it with kids being in public. I’ve been judge for bringing my daughter to daycare during this time. My entire point is why do people feel the need to butt into someone else’s life, especially when it has to do with kids who do NOT belong to them!

Why can’t these people just mind their own and walk away?! What makes them feel they need to say something? And why can’t they be nice if they are to confront someone?! The world today is already so different and children are probably having a harder time adjusting then most of us! Let’s let mothers make the decisions for their children and please remember your opinion was not asked for!!




The Reason Behind The Blog

I’ve been getting comments on my blog from people while I am out and about.

“I love your blog posts!”

“I’m so glad you shared this, I was wondering about that!”

Even just the simple…

“You’re doing great!”

These comments are the exact reason I wanted to start this blog! While I was pregnant with Elliana, I was very excited, I had a relatively easy pregnancy, I was more than ready to become a mom. Or so I thought! I was in a stable relationship, I have a stable career, we have a beautiful home with plenty of room to welcome another human into. I never under estimated when people would tell me how hard motherhood was. Sure the lack of sleep, the constant attention/care, the diaper changes, it all was going to be hard but I can handle it. Again, so I thought.

I looked at my maternity leave as a vacation. 12 whole weeks off from work?! No way would I need that much time away from work! Boy was I wrong! I struggled every single day of my maternity leave. Postpartum depression is real!

For a while I had a lot of shame around what I was going through. I would even tell my husband to not bring up the fact that I need to take depression medication. “It’s not their business” I would say.

I really needed someone to share more of their experiences during the 4th trimester. I wanted more people to talk to me about what its really like, not just what people are supposed to tell you its like. I also wanted those people to be new moms as well, not someone who’s kids are now my age. Sure they went through it all but it was so long ago. I needed someone to share everything with that was also going through new motherhood as well.

That’s when it hit me, I should be that person. I needed ‘that’ person, I can’t be the only one needing ‘that’ person. So I told myself to pt my shame and pride aside, stop holding everything in and acting as though I have it all together. Talk about my actual experiences, my actual thoughts, my actual feelings.

I started to feel better the more I opened up about it. Certain topics I would feel embarrassed or ashamed to even say. But the more I opened up to people what I went through the easier it became to be more of an open book. This is me, take me or leave me.

I then decided I should start a blog. Write all my thoughts and feelings down. Let other moms know they are not alone. I made several posts before I ever published anything. I second guessed myself. Do I really want to let the entire world know my personal business? Do I really want everyone to know how much I struggled internally? What would everyone else think? Would they assume my life is easy and I am just doing this for attention?

Then I remembered how badly I needed ‘that’ person. Someone may benefit from hearing what I went through. At the very least this blog could serve as memories for myself with my new baby.

I pushed all my pride and shame aside and posted the blog. I’ve gotten a few new moms who look forward to hearing what I went through and continue to go through! And my mental health has improved so much just from venting through this blog.

This was the reason behind the blog. The 4th trimester is a real experience, good or bad, for new moms. We all should talk more about it!




Expectations vs. Reality of Motherhood

I couldn’t help but think about the life of motherhood when I read a comment on one of my photo’s about how my daughter is always happy and smiling. “But she isn’t ALWAYS happy” I thought to myself. Is that what I am portraying on my social media accounts? I think we all tend to take photo’s of life’s best moments and post them to facebook or instagram. You never think to reach for your camera when your child just fell and hit their head, or is screaming and crying for no reason, or when the house is a complete disaster with piles and piles of laundry and dishes.

But this is reality! We all have been there so why not talk about it? why not share life’s not so great moments? It’s normal! Here are some expectations I may have had about motherhood vs. the reality of motherhood.

Expectation: What my kids will eat. Healthy!

Reality: If she’ll eat it it’s fair game!

Expectation: Being a mom may get hard but I’ll have it together!

Reality: Mom guilt is real! Some nights you just need to sit in a room alone and cry it out!

Expectation: I will not change after having kids.

Reality: After giving birth I swear my body underwent a chemical change and I myself am a different person!

Expectation: My kids will never do that!

Reality: Kids also have emotions and feelings as well. They will act out from time to time!

Expectation: To live a perfect life, motherhood and marriage, just like those on social media!

Reality: Nobody’s life is perfect. Sure, their social media accounts may portray that but we all go through those tough moments.

Expectation: My marriage will not change after having kids.

Reality: My marriage is a different relationship now than before we had children!

The reality is this is life. The more you accept that not everything will go as planned and not every moment will be enjoyable, the easier time you will have with accepting your life. Motherhood is all about survival, especially those early days! Don’t compare yourself to other moms! Ask advise, talk about experiences, see how they would approach a situation, but don’t compare!




My babies first birthday is for me too!

With my daughters first birthday approaching it has me reflecting! I have been planning and preparing and it has me thinking from time to time – Am I doing too much? At first I kept telling myself no, it’s her birthday, it’s meant to be celebrated.

Recently I’ve realized my babies first birthday is for me too. That goes for all mamma’s! Your babies first birthday is for you too!

A year ago those 12-18 month clothes seemed huge, I felt we needed all things baby, my pre-pregnancy clothes seemed like they would never fit again! I never really thought postpartum depression would effect me but it did. And almost 12 months later I’m still dealing with the affects those early months had on me. I’m still a work in progress! The past year has been the hardest year I’ve yet to experience! It also was a year filled with my most important work – raising a human being!

Sure, my babes first birthday is all about her! I get that! she has learned so much in the past 365 days! From all the little milestones, all the bumps and bruises, learning to eat, roll over, walk, babble, smile, she has put in some major work this past year!

But so have I and I feel mamma’s should celebrate everything they have been through the first year with their first baby! Get yourself a smash cake! Celebrate right along side your baby! Reminisce on the year of accomplishments – for you BOTH! After all you both are on this journey together and have so much further to go!

Enjoy and plan that party Mamma!




My Truth About Breastfeeding – Its not all Sunshine and Rainbows!

My entire pregnancy and at many prenatal appointments I was asked if I would be breastfeeding my new baby. I always answer “Yes, if I can” I would get a nod of approval from whomever asked and we would move on. My perception of breastfeeding was simple; its part of nature, the mother and baby will figure out how to go about the processes and if not we would just have to find another means of feeding. No big deal!

Within the first hour of delivering, still in the delivery room, the nurse told me it was time to breastfeed and we pushed my baby onto my nipple. “OH MY GOSH!” I yelled, “DOES SHE HAVE TEETH?!” This was so painful and so tender but I distracted myself by making small talk with my nurse and husband. I got through it and was told I did great. I felt like I received and A on my first parenting test. I got the stamp of approval from my nurse.

We moved to our mother/baby suite and I was so ready for bed! After all I normally go to bed around 9pm and it was now almost 1am. Once we settled in it was time to feed the baby again. AGAIN?! I thought?! I don’t just want to sleep I literally NEED sleep at this point. I had a rough labor and delivery story (for another time). I needed to sleep and I’d come back better than ever ready to do this mom thing! But nope, my boobs are needed. Not my husbands, not a nurse, not anybody but me. My baby and I were up and down all night feeding. I never got more than 1 consecutive hour of sleep that night.

Throughout my hospital stay I pushed through all the feedings and pain and got the stamp of approval from everyone, even the lactation consultant who stopped in. I was too ashamed to admit I was struggling, after all, everyone said it hurts at first but it gets easier! I didn’t really see a problem that anyone could help me out with, I just had to ride it out. At one point, just my husband and I in the room with our baby, who again was ready to feed, I asked my husband to stick his pinky finger in her mouth to give me a few minutes of a break.

Once home this journey only got worse. Way worse! I’ve never experienced pain like his my entire life. The bleeding, the engorgement, the raw nipples, blocked ducts, the fever and body aches set it. I spent so much money on different breastfeeding items: coconut oil, nipple cream, soothing gel pads, bra pads, I walked around topless most of the time to get some fresh air to my breasts.

I switched to pumping every other feeding in order to give my nipples a bit of a break but still get the breastfeeding experience with my baby. The pain was still getting worse from breastfeeding. I’ve never seen my boobs look the way they did. Every time my daughter cried for food I was now associating it with pain, fear, anger, overwhelming anxiety! I never once felt that amazing bond or experience looking at my baby feeding from me.

I then decided to exclusively pump. This helped in some ways but caused more stress in other ways. I now felt like a milk bank. I had to go pump for 20 minutes or so which means I am not able to use my hands for those 20 minutes. This followed with storing the milk, cleaning all the pump parts, washing bottles, and allowing everything to dry. Then bottle feeding my baby for 20 minutes or so. Anxiety would set in if she was nearing the end of the bottle and not satisfied. Will she need more? How will I supply that? When this process was all said and done I would have about 20 minutes, if that, before this process started all over again.

Everyone else got to hold a happy sleepy baby and I was the one doing all the work to keep her that way. I didn’t feel like I could enjoy my new baby at all! I remember one night at my parents house and Ellie drank all of the milk I had prepared. As she finished the last of her bottle my mom looked at me and asked if I had more. I had to go into the next room to pump for 20 minutes in order for her to eat. I cried the entire time I was pumping. This was too much and too stressful for me. I am putting in all the work, suffering all the pain, and I don’t even feel bonded with my own baby.

I knew in my head I wanted to stop, I wanted to switch to formula, but for some reason I couldn’t. I felt like I was failing my daughter. She deserves the breast milk. She’s healthy, she’s latching, she’s getting milk, I’m producing enough supply. I would be selfish to just stop and deprive her of all that just because I didn’t want to do it anymore.

I reached out to other moms who have been through this process fairly recently and they all seemed like it wasn’t that bad. Some exclusively breastfed, some were exclusively pumping, some were supplementing. All of them made it seem like it wasn’t so hard and even though it may suck at times its part of the job. But all said it’s not for everyone and switching to formula is completely fine. But all I could think about was if they can do it so can I.

The pain, exhaustion, sickness, struggle, bleeding, creams, pump supplies, all lead to depression. A deep deep depression. It took a professional to final get through to me. She said very directly “Stop breastfeeding. Take the pressure off. Your baby got 4 weeks worth of breast milk, she’s good.”

I instantly felt like the weight of the world was picked up off my shoulders.

Breastfeeding was so completely different than I was expecting. Now that I am pregnant again I am terrified and unsure of how I plan to feed my second baby. I feel as though I have PTSD from my breastfeeding journey.

This was my experience and may be different for every mother and every baby. But just know its not so easy and no big deal for everyone! If you are struggling with breastfeeding please know you are not alone as I struggled too!




We’re Having A………BABY!

Check out my Instagram page for more photos/videos from the reveal day!

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Once we found out we were pregnant with our second baby when Ellie had just reached 7 months old; I knew I would feel differently about many things than I did with our first.

One of the things I knew would be different is that I wouldn’t want a baby shower. I always feel guilty having other people buy things for us and there really is not much more we need. Ellie is still so young and we can reuse or share a lot of the items we already have with our second baby. Sure there will be a few items will need but not enough to host an entire baby shower. We also are due a month before Christmas so whatever we don’t have I’m sure we will get at Christmas.

With Ellie we did not do a gender reveal party because I was too excited I wanted to know as soon as I possibly could. With the second baby I feel like I could wait until we give birth before finding out the gender. To compromise, we decided to have a gender reveal instead of doing a baby shower.

At our anatomy ultrasound we told the technician we didn’t want to know the gender but would like for her to write it down and put it in an envelope. She made us close our eyes during that part of the exam. Once we had the envelop in our possession I wanted to drop it off with a friend so we wouldn’t be tempted to look at it.

Since many of us ride Harley Davidson motorcycles we decided to purchase burnout powder from Poof There It Is Gender Reveals. We purchased the bags as “secret” and our friend emailed the company with our order number, name, and results of the gender.

The day came to host the gender reveal for baby number 2 and nobody knew the gender except for our one friend; not our parents, not Josh or I, nobody. My dad, my brother, and my husband all got their bikes and went to the road. We all followed on foot and waited for the burnout show.

What Did I Expect?

This entire pregnancy is significantly different than my first pregnancy but for some reason I had the suspicion it was another girl. I can’t explain to you why I thought this but I just had the feeling. When people asked me what I wanted I wasn’t really sure. A healthy baby is all I can really hope for. But I then started thinking it would be nice to have a boy, this way we would have one of each. I felt if we had another girl I would feel tempted at some point to try again for a boy. And given my PPD history and not knowing how bad it will be with the second baby I am not sure a third child is going to be the best idea. If we had one of each now, I may not have that temptation to have a third child.

My husband swore up and down he saw a “set” on the ultrasound and he felt he knew we were having a boy.


The burnout smoke blew pink! We’re having a second girl! This may mean we may feel tempted (in the future!) to try for a third. But there are many positives about having another girl! I definitely do not feel guilt for not wanting a baby shower now! We really don’t need much!

Check out my Instagram page for more photos/videos from the reveal day!