10 Postpartum items I didn’t know I needed (#6 and #8 Are an absolute MUST!)

I never gave much thought about what happens after giving birth. I knew Giving birth would be painful and I would have bleeding, but I had no idea how gross I would actually feel. I had what they call 3rd degree tearing. I didn’t even know what this meant until I googled it once I got home (I’ll leave that to you if you’d like). There were items the hospital provided me but there were also items I needed to gather on my own.

Here are the 10 essential items I needed for my postpartum recovery.

  1. Peri Bottle
3 Best Peri Bottles For Hygienic Post-Partum Washing

I honestly have no idea what it would be like to go to the bathroom without this because I was way too scared to even try! I used these bottles for weeks on weeks!

2. Depends

These were great at night! I had to be careful though because just like a baby, I ended up with a diaper rash.

3. Prenatal Vitamins

One A Day Women's Prenatal 1 Multivitamin, Supplement for Before ...

I had no idea I had to continue taking my prenatal vitamins after giving birth!

4. Pain Killers

Tylenol Extra Strength Pain/Fever Relief 500mg - 100 caplets ...

These were essential to elevate some of the pain I had “down there”

5. Cold Packs

Amazon.com: Frida Mom 2-in-1 Postpartum Absorbent Postpartum ...

These were 100% a lifesaver for me! They felt AMAZING and helped so so much!! Which leads me to the next item:

6. Tucks Pads

Amazon.com: TUCKS Medicated Cooling Pads 100 Each (Pack of 3 ...

These were another item I used for weeks on weeks on weeks!! These helped my healing process SO much!!

7. Nipple Cream

Amazon.com : Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Soothing Cream 40 Grams ...

My nipples were so so raw this cream was an essential for so many weeks and went everywhere with me!!

8. Coconut Oil

Amazon.com: Garden of Life Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil ...

Oh my goodness did this help SOOOO much!! Again, I needed to heal “down there” as well as up top! I went through so many tubs of coconut oil! As soon as it would dry up and absorb into my skin I would add more! This was so needed!

9. Sitz Bath Salts

Amazon.com : Sitz Bath Salt – Postpartum Care and Hemorrhoid ...

I never used the sitz bath (pink bucket) the hospital provided me, but I did sit in the bath with the water constantly running and draining. I did this each day I had the chance to help the healing process “down there”

10. Donut Cushion

Comfort Foam Hemorrhoid Donut Seat Cushion – Grey - Chesna

This was not provided by the hospital but definitely needed for the first 2 weeks or so as sitting definitely hurt where I had stitches.

The decision between being a stay at home mom or a working mom and how it effected my PPD

Initially this seemed like an easy decision. Most women are faced with the decision and life changes of being a stay at home mom or a working mom. Now first let me say both roles require WORK…no doubt about it! My entire life I always just assumed I would be a working mom if I were to ever have kids. I considered myself a workaholic! I began working at the age of 12 and from then on I always had a job, sometimes, multiple jobs.

Years later I found myself pregnant with my first child. This came when I found myself in a great career which I absolutely loved! My day to day grind was enjoyable and yet challenging to me! I remember my boss asking me what my plans were after I had this baby.

“Will you be returning to work?”

Is this even a question I thought to myself. Did I give my coworkers/boss the impression that I would not be coming back?

“Absolutely!” I replied.

I felt like it would be good for my baby to have a routine, to be around other kids, to have to listen to someone other than mom and dad. I also felt it was important for me to have my own life too. Becoming a mom is wonderful and a job in itself but for me personally I didn’t know how to not get up and go to a job each and everyday.

Then maternity leave hit me! I literally felt so overwhelmed and exhausted and being a mom was significantly harder than I ever thought it would be. I had no idea how I would return to work just to come home and make dinner while watching my baby and get her to bed on time. How can I add all this extra stress when I felt I was already stressed to the max. How am I supposed to add one more thing to my plate?

Not just the added stress and things to do, how was I going to let someone else care for my baby each day? I want to be there to see all her firsts, I don’t want to to share those moments with someone else and have to hear about it later.

At my initial PPD appointment, my doctor first told me not to worry about work yet. I still had 8 weeks left of my maternity leave. She also told me she thought I should try to go back and take it day by day. She also reminded me not to quit my job on a bad day. If it didn’t work out then fine, stay at home with your baby. There is nothing wrong with that. But at least give it a try.

I felt like that was awesome advise! I wanted to stay home with my baby but when it came time to return to work I did just that. I took it day by day and honestly to my surprise each and everyday I felt a little better. Yes, I had more on my mind, I had extra task I now needed to complete but I also enjoyed my evenings with my baby that much more.

Going to work during the day and doing something for me and spending the evenings with my daughter was just the “break” I needed! Before I became a mom I thought I definitely would be a working mom, during my maternity leave I fully wanted to be a stay at home mom, I returned to work and loved it! This is a personal choice for each and every mom! Working is what worked for me and my family!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

I Need Alone Time But I Miss My Baby

Alone time?! I’ve learned since becoming a mom that alone time is necessary! That break is needed for both mental and physical health! the frustrations, anger, stress, overwhelmed mind all fade after a nice break.

I get it, you’re elbows deep in diapers, feedings, tears, naps, cleaning, laundry. A mom break is not as easy as it sounds. However, the biggest struggle I find with a mom break is missing your child the entire time your away from them! Can you relate?

Every time I’m not with Ellie I feel like I should be. I’m her mom, I should be caring for her. I know I need this break and that it’s good for both of us. I still can’t help but constantly think of her and even end my mom break early to go back to be with her.

What is she doing right now?

Did she eat enough?

Did she get her naps in?

Is she having fun or is she having a rough day?

Did she experience any new “firsts”

I bet she misses her dogs!

I wonder if she had any wipe outs?

Did I pack enough diapers?

These are just some of the thoughts I have when Ellie and I are not together. I’ve learned motherhood is being so excited for a break and then missing your kids the entire time you are gone!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

Baby #2 So Soon

Imagine, my first baby is 7 months old, I am still tackling this whole new mom life, and the daily struggles of postpartum depression. My period is late but it still is not ‘regular’ yet since delivering. No big deal, I have other things to worry about, I will start in the next few days.

While visiting my mom she asked me when we will have another baby. It hit me, I haven’t started my period. I pulled out my phone and looked at my period tracking app and realized I should have started about 4 days ago, at the latest! No, no, I’m just late, this is all part of the postpartum process.

For the rest of the day I couldn’t get the thought of my period being late out of the back of my mind. I KNEW it was nothing but still. We had to make a trip to the store that night so why not just put this to rest and get a test.

Low and behold, it was positive. I am pregnant. Again.

My husband was absolutely thrilled and so excited! and he said to me when he found out we were pregnant with our first he was scared and this time he’s excited. I looked at him and said I feel the opposite.

I was so excited and could not wait to meet our first baby girl. I was literally so happy! Now I want to share the thoughts and feelings I had finding out I was pregnant again because it was drastically different, and I’m sure I am not alone!

  1. “OH MAN! Here we go!”
  2. How can I handle 2 children….2 Babies?!?
  3. How can this second baby even compare to how perfect our first baby is?!
  4. Will I even be able to have enough love for BOTH babies?!
  5. I had so much bonding time with just Ellie and I and now this second baby will not get that.
  6. Will Ellie feel abandoned by me when the next baby arrives?
  7. How can I survive pregnancy with a mobile baby?!
  8. I literally hated every single second of breastfeeding but Ellie got my breast milk exclusively for about 3-4 weeks, I don’t even want to try with the second baby but now I feel guilty for depriving the second baby the chance to have the nutrients from my breast milk. I don’t want to feel the pain, the engorgement, the bleeding/raw nipples, cluster feeding, the pressure, the feeling of a food source and nothing more. But I feel like I gave Ellie the chance and offer and what kind of mom would I be if I didn’t allow the same for baby number 2?!
  9. I do NOT want to stop taking my postpartum medication. Is it safe to take throughout pregnancy?! What if my doctor tells me I need to stop?! What will happen to me???
  10. How bad is PPD going to hit after this second baby? I know I will have it and it was pretty dang bad with the first pregnancy, will it be worse during the second?!?!
  11. How will I ever get sleep?! My luck the babies will be on opposite sleep schedules which means mom doesn’t sleep at all at night. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” isn’t going to be an option when you have a second baby in the picture.
  12. Do I put Ellie in daycare while I am on maternity leave or should I keep her home with me so she can bond with us as well?

These are just some of my early initial thoughts when I found out I was pregnant again so soon. I was absolutely terrified. I know what it takes now to care for a baby and its a lot and now I’m adding another baby?! I’m sure I am not alone in this!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

Sleepless Nights

At 9 months old, Ellie was still waking up 3-5 times a night needing a bottle. Now, I know every child is different but its hard not to compare myself to other moms who post on social media about their babies sleeping through the night at such a young age (2 months old even!!!!).

I was about 4 months pregnant with my second child when I brought Ellie to her 9 month baby appointment. At this point I had given up on the sleeping thing and just figured this was my life now. Her sweet doctor was super impressed with how well Ellie has been doing it was as if she was digging to get to the real truth and find something she could help with. Then she asked

“How’s she sleeping”

DING DING DING!!!

I explained how she wakes up 3-5 times a night, some nights more, some nights less.

“No, no, no, she needs to be sleeping through the night.

My goal was to get Ellie sleeping through the night before baby number 2 arrived. But I was at a lost of what to do during the middle of the night when she does wake up. Giving her a bottle stops her crying and we all get back to sleep.

Her amazing doctor gave me a game plan and honestly I still wasn’t completely sure, my husband didn’t believe this would work at all. But by night number 3 she slept through the entire night, 7pm-7am, and woke up with a dry diaper even!!

I’ll share what we did, I have no idea if this works for every baby or not, but it worked for us!

  1. Have a night time routine.

This was already established for us. We start around 5:30pm with dinner, then bath time, then some quiet time (reading, tv, light playing, ect. ), then bed around 7:30pm. Ellie knows what is coming next every single night and we never had an issue with putting her to bed.

2. Putting her to bed.

We now give her a bottle during her quiet time if she needs one rather than in her crib. She doesn’t get a bottle in her crib at all anymore. I set her room up the same each night, put her down, tell her the same thing every night “goodnight, I love you”, and walk out.

3. Time her cries if needed.

The first couple of nights were rough. We had two options to either let her cry it out or time her cries and go back in. As soon as I walked out on the first night she started crying, I would start timing one minute. After a minute I would go back in, not say anything, just rub her back adjust her if needed, until she stopped crying. I then would say “goodnight, I love you” and walk out again. This time I double the amount of time once she starts crying. Now I set the timer for 2 minutes. Go back in without saying anything soothe her, tell her I love her, and walk out. I continued this process doubling the time of her cries each time I went in. The first night she cried for a total of 10 minutes. The second night took about 2 minutes, as well as the third night. By the fourth night she understood and cried for 30 seconds and was sound asleep. The fifth night and on she doesn’t cry, she watches me walk out and lays there until she falls asleep.

4. What to do if she wakes in the middle of the night?

If she woke during the middle of the night I would repeat step 3. Wait one minute, go check on her, rub her back until she stops crying and walk back out. She usually was already tired that this was all it took but if she were to continue to cry I would keep doubling the time between each check in.

That’s it!

That’s all it took for us!

After about one week of doing this and things were going great she did develop a habit of needing mom in the room. She figured out that I was in there when she was awake and wasn’t while she was sleeping. I stuck to the process and would rub her back or forehead until she was calm, walk out, and time her cries. This habit lasted about 3 nights which made our bed time routine rough but I didnt give in and she sleeps so so amazing now.

Now that I saw how amazingly well the sleep training worked I will definitely be starting this process sooner with baby number 2!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

My Favorite Newborn Item

One thing I purchased after having my first child was the Baby Breeza Formula Pro.

Initially, I had planned to exclusively breastfeed. That changed after a couple weeks and I began to introduce formula to her diet. Eventually, we found a formula that worked for her and slowly she was completely weened off breast milk and exclusively formula fed.

We prepared her formula the old school way of measuring out the scopes and water combination. We always tried to get the temperature just right. This usually was taking place all while Ellie was crying for food. The Baby Breeza took all the guess work out of it!

We simply place her bottle in the Baby Breeza and select how many ounces and hit start. Within seconds her bottle is ready for her! This become our favorite item during the middle of the night feedings! I placed the Baby Breeza on my nightstand and when Ellie would wake up in the middle of the night I could just hit the start button all sleepy eyed and give her bottle to her in the bassinet.

Both my husband and I saw the real benefit of the Baby Breeza when night time fell. We loved it during the day but it really shined for us at night!

If you are wondering what you really need or don’t need for your child, I would highly recommend spending the money and getting yourself a Baby Breeza!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

Maternity leave nightmare; living with PPD

I envisioned my maternity leave to be this long blissful experience and a little bit of a break from the day to day grind. I was in for an abrupt, rude awakening!

PPD was something everyone told me to watch for when I was pregnant. They never told me what to watch for, or what PPD truly looks like. Looking back at it now I can honestly say PPD hit me before I even left the hospital. I delivered my daughter just minutes before 9pm and by mid-night it hit me, I was not going to get sleep. I had to be the one to feed my daughter, no nurse, not my husband, just me. I had to call the nurse to my room to ask her how to swaddle my daughter. I had to call the nurse in to help me from my bed to the bathroom just so I could pee. My legs were uncontrollably shaking, when would they stop? Around 3am my daughter decided she was going to cluster feed until about 9am. I had no idea what cluster feeding was but I learned very quickly. Around 4 or 5 in the morning I laid in my hospital bed bailing my eyes out while my daughter fed off my raw sore nipples.

Exhausted

Frustrated

Overwhelmed

Sore

These are just a few of the emotions I was feeling that night/morning. I could literally feel my mood take a complete dip to rock bottom in a matter of hours. Once I arrived home these emotions did not go away. In fact even more emotions and feelings started coming to play. Every. Single. Thing. made me cry! I felt like not one person understood what I was going through or understood how I was feeling. Soon I began to think they didn’t even care; as long as I was well enough to feed Ellie. I began to feel like a milk bank and that was the only value I was bringing to anyone.

I kept putting these feelings off and telling myself I was just over tired. Many people told me its the “Baby Blues” and not to worry because it’s normal. I would just tell myself they’re right, I’m ok, I’m just over tired and having a little case of the baby blues. I’ll be fine! I longed to get my daughter on a feeding and nap time routine. I thought some sort of structure would help my mood. Keeping a brand new baby to a routine added even more pressure for myself. The frustration and defeat I felt when the routine was compromised was unbearable!

I felt like I had to do EVERYTHING with no help whatsoever. I felt like my husband was just another child I had to look after. It wasn’t true, he did help, he also worked each day. But in my mind, at the time, he did nothing. I had multiple break downs, severe break downs. I had the most negative thoughts about myself. I began thinking how I wasn’t cut out to be a mom, my husband would be better off with someone other than me, my daughter would have a better life with her dad and someone else as a mom. I felt like I was ruining everyone’s life around me. Then the suicidal thoughts came. One night, during a feeding, I had a plan. That night After putting my daughter back to sleep I would say my goodbyes to the dogs and leave my husband to deal with everything in the morning. I was giving up and done with life at that point.

The next morning I called my doctor for help. I fell asleep trying to get my daughter back to sleep. I saw it as my second chance. I can seek out professional help and try to feel better sooner, or I can keep struggling alone and hope things get better. My doctors office saw me right away, I felt amazing walking out of that appointment! I knew I was not cured but it was a start. I was filled with so much hope for my future!

I started my medication that day. I was ashamed that I had to be the “crazy girl that was medicated”, I didn’t want anyone to know about it. Two days passed and I felt better! I was still sad but I didn’t feel like a ticking time bomb anymore. A few more appointments and an adjustment to the medications and before I knew it I was feeling so great! I no longer cared who knew if I was on medication or not! I no longer had the mindset of stopping the medication once I felt better. I’m scared to stop the medication! I know how I am feeling now and I never want to go back to how low I felt during my maternity leave.

Keep in mind this all happened so quickly! From giving birth to my daughter to my first PPD appointment was a total of 4 weeks. In 4 weeks time I went from feeling myself to nearly taking my life. It is so scary how fast this can happen! How quickly your mind can convince you of such awful things! I am so thankful for my doctor that saw me that first PPD appointment and how well she handled the entire situation!

This is a look into my situation and my story. Take your meds! And take care of yourself!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

The one thing I wish I knew

As a first time mom there are so many things people explain to you or tell you of what to expect once your new baby comes. However, if I could go back to being pregnant for the first time, the one thing I wished someone talked more with me about was breastfeeding!

So many people asked me while I was pregnant if I planned on breastfeeding. My answer every single time was yes. My knowledge on breastfeeding at that point was very limited. I was under the impression that if my baby latches on then great! I’ll breastfeed because ‘breast is best’ (how naive of me). If she doesn’t latch then I’ll have to switch to formula. Simple as that. Or so I thought!

When I answered yes to the question of breastfeeding my child every single person said good and moved onto something else. Not one person explained any of the difficulties that could come with breastfeeding. And honestly I had many surprise difficulties.

But those difficulties are not necessarily what I wish someone talked more with me about. The number one topic I wish somebody talked more about with me while I was pregnant is how to get a good latch! This is a simple thing every single new mom can take 10-15 minutes while pregnant to look into.

I went into labor with no idea about the different holds and what a good latch is and how to achieve this latch. I honestly thought breastfeeding was just natural and both my baby and I would just naturally know what to do. Not the case for me! Our first initial latch shortly after birth was very painful, a complete shock, and felt like my newborn baby had teeth! I just stuck it out and kept going. I had a lactation specialist come in the next morning to check in. This was the first person to even explain what a good latch is and how to position her to get that latch.

Over time my daughter and I got much better at breastfeeding but I feel the damage to my poor nipples started from that very first latch. If someone told me to look into latch techniques ahead of time I may have been more prepared and may have been able to salvage my nipples.

All you new expecting moms, I strongly urge you to looking into how to get a good latch! It may help prevent some postpartum stress!

Always,

Desiree

xoxo

Mainely Mom

Hello all,

I wanted to introduce myself and give you a short little story as to why I am here in the first place. I’ll start with my name, Desiree, but most call me Des (pronounced Dez but I hate spelling it with a ‘z’).

I was born and raised in the state of Maine. I married my brother’s best friend, a true Mainer, Josh. I describe him as a “true Mainer” because of his love for trees and the outdoors. He’s an arborist, he literally hugs trees daily! I am a full time Surgical Sales Rep, which requires me to travel often for work.

We have 2 dogs, multiple fish, and chickens on the way! Most people get a kick out of our dogs, Chloe who is an 11 year old Yorkie and weighs in at about 5 lbs on her good day (7-8 lbs if she hadn’t been to the bathroom first). We also have Brutus, a 3 year old Cane Corso and Mastiff mix. He weighs more than me! He’s about 150 lbs. We have one extreme to the other with our dogs! It can be quiet comical!

We are first time parents. I am a first time mom! How exciting, right? We had a beautiful healthy baby girl in August of 2019. Little did I know the whirlwind of an experience I would have the minute I went into labor. Having my daughter has completely changed me and my life. During the 4th trimester, I found myself so many times asking anyone and everyone that would listen

“WHY didn’t anyone tell me about this?!”

So, that’s what I am hear for!

  1. Writing it all down helps me manage and navigate motherhood as well as my mental state.
  2. I can be the person to tell new moms what I wish someone had told me!
  3. How fun will it be to document all the little things throughout my child’s life?

I want to share all things motherhood and baby related with you all; postpartum, breastfeeding, childcare, managing work, sleep training, bottle feeding, etc. I will also share lifestyle posts from time to time for fun as well.

I would also love to connect with other moms! Let’s all build each other up and provide support! I would love to help someone out with any motherhood/parenting/baby advice they may be seeking!

I am excited to share more with you all along my journey through life!

I hope you all enjoy!